tea berry-blue

i had to take work home with me tonight. that sucked; i haven't started writing for the night yet. i'll get a little done i guess. but it still sucks. i hardly got much work done, either.

poopy. it's because i did other work at work the past two days. yesterday i had to help finish another project that i wasn't on the team for that was late, and today we had a meeting and then i ended up taking to maciej (the guy who started our company) for a really long time about some issues i had with the way he wants to develop the language/software. it was a good discussion but i didn't get my designs done.

and my chest is hurting again. i think it is because of my boobies. I HATE MY BOOBIES. mikey just measured me-- my ribcage just below my boobies is 27" and my bust is 40." he also estimated that each of my boobies is between 1.5-2 lbs; he measured them against a 1lb can of crushed tomatoes. pooh to boobies. i need to get new bras and that prospect is always creepy. anyway, i think that the weight of carrying around two enormous blobs of fat on a pretty small frame is starting to take its toll on me. TOO BAD MY FREAKIN' HEALTH INSURANCE DOESN'T COVER BREAST REDUCTION.

okay, anyway, i gotta get back to writing. i've been dreaming about my characters which is something new. doesn't usually happen. this whole thing means KiSS has totally gone on a back burner, but i think it is worth it. the writing thing is important. i've also been starting to think about the other characters' stories, especially riasa's. i just realized something about my characters in this particular world.
caffrey: only child/much younger half-sister
cheli: twin, no other sibs besides twin
jolie: youngest of 2
jaesten: youngest of 2
fredje: youngest of 7
riasa: third of 4
leanorah: youngest of 3

jolie, riasa, and leanorah are all from families of only-girls. jaesten and caffrey, the boys, both have sisters. cheli and fredje have brothers.

there are a lot of youngest siblings. i don't particularly know what that means.

argh, so...

i went to my gynaecologist appointment, had to leave work to do it, and got there are filled out some forms and then waited a bit and then WHAM they tell me that they have to cancel my appointment because the doctor has to perform a delivery.

i am so pissed off. i spent all this time out of work for nada. and it took me song long to find a doctor who accepts my insurance. this SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS. so they told me to rescedule, but that is gonna take another month, so i'm wondering if i shouldn't just find another doctor.

poop poop poop.

and i missed lunch to do this. i bought myself a yogurt on my way back to work, and then i got in the door and there was still some brown rice left from the chinese food order, so i ate some brown rice. and i got a fortune cookie that says:

"you will move to a wonderful new home within the year."
lucky numbers 4,11,16,39,44,45

that would be nice.

i don't know why, but i have a great deal of pain just at my sternum. it doesn't feel so good and it feels like it is amplifying my heartbeat-- i mean, every time my heart beats it aggravates whatever is hurting. i've never had anything feel like this before; i hope it just goes away.

i don't know why, but i have a great deal of pain just at my sternum. it doesn't feel so good and it feels like it is amplifying my heartbeat-- i mean, every time my heart beats it aggravates whatever is hurting. i've never had anything feel like this before; i hope it just goes away.

i am wearing my glasses for the first day at work!

i have been wearing them for an hour and a half with no noticeable side effects. i do get this weird strobe effect when i move my head down to look at my keyboard instead of at my monitor and vice-versa.

they feel really dirty. i dunno; i think glasses are gonne gimme an OCD. yipes. i can just see all the dirt all over them and the icky dead skin and oil accumulating. stupid combination skin.

i also got new shoes yesterday; i got a pair of josef siebels. they are like dress shoes but really comfy, the front of them is all made out of like lycra stretchy stuff and the rest of them is leather and they have really absorbent soles. i like these shoes.

shoe shoe shoe shoe.

went to my parents again. my mom and i are trying to create the cogent argument for me not having a wedding, which is the enormous difference in the amount of people that we would have to invite. counting just our first cousins and our parents' first cousins, my total came to 218 and mikey's came to 5. then my mom realized she had completely forgotten to count my father's first cousins. so that is probably closer to 280 on my side. that's right. that's not counting godparents, close friends, distant relatives who i happen to like. nope, it's 218 first cousins. that's not even getting into how offended everyone would be if i didn't copy all the wedding traditions. i *couldn't* have wedding cookies because mikey's dad is deathly allergic to egg (wedding cookies are a very specific list of recipes for cookies that are made and brought to every family wedding by a list of cousins) and i am sure as hell not having an RC church wedding. yipes.

okay, more random chatter later. back to work now.

my eyes are hurting something fierce. it feels like my eyesockets are swollen. that's boo. boo boo boo.

it makes me cry a lot.

i need to see a doctor. that means i need to find a doctor. that is hard to do. i guess i'll email jo again about it; she has good doctors in the city but she never got back to me about it before. i would go to LI for doctor but then i have to depend on my mom to drive me. things i need to do doctor wise:

1) get a regular GP checkup (last time i did that was when i turned 18--51/2 years ago)
2)go to a gyno (last time i did that was in college, so probably 3 years ago)
3)go to a dentist-- but i don't have dental coverage yet...so that has to wait even though i need to
4)have a wisdom tooth pulled.
5)go to a shrink--i promised mikey i would do this when i had health insurance.
6)go to a dermatologist
7)go to an eye doctor

beh, i have to restart the box.

my eyes are hurting something fierce. it feels like my eyesockets are swollen. that's boo. boo boo boo.

it makes me cry a lot.

i need to see a doctor. that means i need to find a doctor. that is hard to do. i guess i'll email jo again about it; she has good doctors in the city but she never got back to me about it before. i would go to LI for doctor but then i have to depend on my mom to drive me. things i need to do doctor wise:

1) get a regular GP checkup (last time i did that was when i turned 18--51/2 years ago)
2)go to a gyno (last time i did that was in college, so probably 3 years ago)
3)go to a dentist-- but i don't have dental coverage yet...so that has to wait even though i need to
4)have a wisdom tooth pulled.
5)go to a shrink--i promised mikey i would do this when i had health insurance.
6)go to a dermatologist
7)go to an eye doctor

beh, i have to restart the box.